1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
she woke up with a sticky ear
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
