I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
