Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
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