Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
