I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
