did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Randomize
