you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
