Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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