I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Randomize
