His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize
