The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize