So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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