did you get engaged???
The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
