if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
