is your mom at the bar?
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
