My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
