today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Randomize
