i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
