So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
