Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
