We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Randomize
