I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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