2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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