Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
