He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
