You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
