I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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