Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I did not marry a roomba.
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