sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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