I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
