I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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