Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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