She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
