i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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