so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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