if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
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