He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
