I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize