Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
