do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
from now on my penis is your penis
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Randomize
