He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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