Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
