Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
