I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Randomize