It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Randomize
