i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize