Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize