I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
