she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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