Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
sex in a hospital.. check
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
