Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
