Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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