therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
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