i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
