Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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