no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
