i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Randomize
